Apartment Haunting
Finding a new apartment is easy; finding one not haunted by evil spirits is hard.
10 Easy Ways To Make Money From Twitter (and Other Stuff Stupid People Believe)
1. Rob Shaq
Shaquille O’neal is a famous twitterer, actor, rapper and occasional basketball player. Shaq often tweets out messages letting fans know his current location and offers free tickets to the first 2 people to approach him. All you have to do is follow Shaq’s twitter account, http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ and next time he does this, go to where he is….and rob him! He is worth an estimated 300 million dollars so he’s bound to have some money on him.
Quick side note. Shaquille is 7′1, 325 lbs, and a reserve police officer, so you may want to bring a friend.
2. Write a Book On How To Make Money From Twitter
Everyone wants to know how to make easy money from twitter. Most of those people are willing to pay to find out. All you have to do is write a book telling them how you did it. How did you do it? You wrote a book about twitter and charged money for it! Don’t worry if you’re not qualified, just slap the word guru in your profile to describe yourself and people will automatically listen to everything you say.
3. Marry and Divorce a Celebrity
This one is so easy it’s almost not worth mentioning, but I’m going to anyways. Use twitter to find and woo a well known, rich celebrity.( ex. Jennifer Aniston. ) Marry them. Accidentally “forget to sign a pre-nuptial agreement.” Then twitter at such an annoying rate that they will end your relationship. You then get half of their estate. It almost worked for John Mayer.
4. Twitter For People With More Important Things To Do
Twitter is the newest and hottest social marketing tool going. Everyone wants to do it, but most people have lives and jobs that get in the way. This is where you come in. Find people who have disposable income, a need to be on social networks, and better things to do, and charge to twitter for them. Just make generalized statements. Say that you enjoyed the new movie that just came out or just retweet everything that Ashton Kutcher says. People seem to like him.
5. Stop Twittering About Finding a Job and Actually Find a Job
Just what the title says. Take all of the time you spend twittering about your job hunt, and actually spend it looking for one.
6. Porn
7. Write “Twitter: The Movie”
Movie producers keep hearing about this “twitter” thing, yet most of them have no idea what it is. Write a screenplay called “Twitter: The Movie” and they’ll make sure to put it into production or seem old and out of touch.
Not a screenwriter? Just take 140 characters out of every screenplay that’s ever won the academy award for best original screenplay. It will make as much sense as the last Indiana Jones movie.
8. Create New Website: Twitter 2
It will be the exact same thing as twitter, but won’t go down every 3 hours. Also will allow porn ads. See #6
9. Twitter So Much Spouse Leaves You
This one is only for the married twitterers. Just like if you were married to a celebrity, spend every possible moment on twitter. Eventually your spouse will leave you and take the kids. You’ll no longer have to worry about that pesky family problem that’s always sucking away your resources. Dinner and a movie is much cheaper for one.
p.s.
Don’t forget to twitter all the way through the movie!
10. Copyright Hip Twitter Phrases
Come up with a bunch of cool twitter words and phrases, then file a copyright on them. Once you have received said copyright, charge people money every time they use your hip/cool word or phrase.
There you go. 10 easy ways to make money from twitter. If you’re not rolling in Washington’s by the end of the week then you just aren’t listening to my advice. What are some other easy ways to make money from twitter?
Also, don’t forget to follow us…
http://www.twitter.com/beeftrain
